Three years...

Dear work,

Today is our three year anniversary!

And what an interesting three years it has been! We've largely built each other up from nothing, into something that is truly becoming grand. In the last three years our revenues have remained on a consistent incline, and our workforce has tripled! We've specialized, we've innovated, we've presented, and though we've made a few mistakes along the way, we've managed to excel at what we do and have come a long way towards solidifying a great reputation within the industry!

I want you to know I'll always appreciate how you helped me get out of that failing relationship with my former employer, and how you helped me to prove to all the nay-sayers that high school marks and university degrees are not required to achieve personal or professional success.

We've seen our fair share of ups and downs (I've wanted to quit more times that I can remember now), but we've stuck together through it all. I've cost you a lot of money, through my ever-increasing salary and a lot of the mistakes that I've made. And you've damn near driven me insane with your often ridiculous expectations and impossible deadlines. If we didn't need each other so badly, I'm sure I would've moved on from here long ago. You've been lucky that I've been so loyal. But I've been lucky to even be here with you at all, so we're even.

You've given me pride, by providing for me a platform in which I can compare myself to others around my age and feel like I am way ahead of the game. You've given me opportunities to refine and further my technical skillset. You've given me a voice in the direction of the company. You've provided the means for me to begin travelling the world. And I've been blessed to work with the nicest, most supportive and open people I could ever hope to work with.

Having gone through what I have the last few years, the patience (all-be-it, probably unknowingly for the most part) that has been shown to me, blows my mind. And, throughout it all, you were the shining example of the potential that I would've been throwing away. You were the voice of reason. You were stability. And though you were also a major contributing factor (negatively) to it all as well, it was in no way your fault. Thankfully, I think I've come out of it stronger and better and that only means great things are on the horizon for both of us.

That I might be able to go to school within the next year or two and continue to work is another opportunity that I will be grateful for. And to take that a step further, that it may end up that we could open an office together in Vancouver when the time comes is a prospect that excites me very very much (even if I am getting wayy ahead of myself in hoping for this).

Thanks for everything! And cheers to moving forward and to another year of advancement and success for all of us!

Good on the horizon...

I think I take the fact that Matthew Good is a popular Canadian artist for granted. Because one of the reasons I appreciate Mr. Good so much, is that as much as I love live music, I have only seen the majority of my favourite artists/bands play live a single time (if at all). But I have seen Matt Good live now about 8 or 9 times. When he comes to town, he doesn't just come to Toronto...he also comes to the surrounding area, and I'd watch the man play every week if I could.

The last tour saw a trip out to Vancouver and short road trips to Buffalo and Peterborough.

Since announcing the full band tour, I've now picked up tickets for the acoustic show in Buffalo in March, and full band shows at Massey Hall in Toronto and Hamilton Place Theatre in Hamilton. Oh, and June 26th at the Orpheum Theatre in Vancouver as well!

I'm really looking forward to all of these!

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In other news, my iPhone has been acting a little weird for a little while now. Since before I (successfully) updated to the 1.1.3 firmware it's been refusing to let me connect to wifi, and for the last couple of weeks at least I swear it hasn't been vibrating when someone calls or a text message comes in. It does it sometimes, but not for the majority. I'm also sure I haven't received at least a few text messages that have been sent to me (though this is more likely Rogers' fault more than the phone).

I'm going to try upgrading to 1.1.4. And see if it makes any difference. I've never had a problem like this with a phone before. It would be ironic if this was the one time there was a problem that required a warranty/serviceability to fix it.

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Finally, I'm debating spending around $1000-1500 upgrading my home PC. A friend of mine just upgraded his and it's really really sweet. I feel like I haven't used a really good computer in a really long time, not to mention that there are currently some sweet-ass PC games out or coming out soon that I would love to spend some time playing (though to be honest, I probably wouldn't).

I'm debating because that's a lot of money and because I really want to get a Mac this time around. I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

Back to work...

(of course, 95% of these will be spam, but still, I am so popular! haha)

Heading home...

Just sitting in the airport waiting for my flight home...

I didn't take a single picture this trip (minus a few on my phone), so I think I may go through some other people's posted photos and make a sort of collage to show my trip. If I have the time and energy I'll do it tonight; otherwise it'll have to wait until tomorrow or the next day.

This is the second time I've had the pleasure of staying in Vancouver, and the second time I had an absolutely amazing time.

The people here have been absolutely wonderful!

Thank you very much, especially, to Rebecca & John, Corinna & Adam (double thank you to these guys actually), John Biehler (!), Keira-Anne, and Duane Storey!

Thank you Jennie Roth!

And finally, thank you to everyone else I met but didn't have a chance to say a proper goodbye to, especially Phillip Jeffrey, and Tylor Sherman. You all made this another one of the best experiences of my life so far and I am very, very appreciative!

Update: It just occurred to me that I didn't thank Amy in this post, and she was perhaps the greatest part of the whole trip (whether she blogs or not haha). So Amy, if you already read this and noticed I didn't mention you, I'm very very sorry. And if not and you're reading this now, thank you thank you thank you! And for everyone else, you should know that there's a really awesome woman living in Vancouver who refuses to blog but is super-friendly and awesome, and she deserves just as much credit and notation (if not more) than everyone else out there!

A culture of brilliance

I just heard Matt Mullenweg (founder of WordPress) give a keynote speech here.

I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by how intelligent and forward thinking everyone around here seems to be. It is fascinating. I truly believe that great things (both social and political) and beginning to take shape within (and because of) this community and all the others like it.

I love this place.

I just wanted to say.

Vancouver is fucking amazing.

The weather here is amazing (it's spring-time here. it's february and I swear it felt like it was around 15 degrees out today).

The people here are amazing (so welcoming, so friendly, so fun and energetic and brilliant).

The transit system is amazing (the bus comes every 3 minutes. EVERY THREE MINUTES!).

The mountains during sunset look amazing (i can't even take a picture; it ruins it).

I know that I would feel differently if I lived here my whole life. But I think I'd love to live here.

Ohh UBC...

Just got back from my "advisory" appointment at UBC admissions.

Apparently UBC doesn't have a standardized admissions test for mature applicants in order to gauge their academic ability like I'm pretty sure they do in Ontario. At least, not in the sciences department (where I have applied to). And, apparently, they only accept around a dozen mature students a year.

So,

The suggested route I take is one of applying as a transfer student, which is reasonable. I would need 24 first-year equivalent college/university credits in order to apply. This would be to ensure that I come into the school with the necessary base knowledge in the sciences (biology, physics, chemistry, math), and honestly, is probably a very good idea for me since I've been out of school and working in tech for so long now. Unfortunately, this means I wouldn't begin school here until September 2009 at the earliest. Again though, that may not necessarily be so bad... I could stand to work and save more money before making the move.

The question now I guess, is whether or not I'll be doing these courses in BC or in Ontario. I have to say, I'm really really loving it out here and would love to move here as soon as possible, if possible. However, it may make more sense to stay based in Ontario for the time being.

It's nice to have options :)
I guess we'll see what happens.

Crap crap crap

Okay so I didn't blog this weekend... not even a draft.
Yes, I know it's ironic because I'm leaving tomorrow for a conference about blogging.
Yes, I know I broke a promise (though I'm sure you probably don't even really care about that lol).

All I can say is, there is a lot to talk about; a lot to discuss; a lot to write pointless posts about. It's not that I'm not inspired; more-so that I am just... well, full of excuses :)

This trip will probably see some blogging.

And I intend to get back into the swing of things fully once I return. In fact, I'm hoping there will be a lot more focus.

In the meantime, wish for me a safe and timely flight tomorrow :) I am off to British Columbia!!

Busy weekend ahead...

Things to do this weekend:

- Blog twice (once about music I think, and once about the concept of "choice" for the purpose of discussion).

- Write a "letter of intention" to UBC.

- Write a final draft of the "letter of recommendation" from my employer.

- Have a discussion with my Aunt & Uncle.

- Finish a large project for work

- See an old friend and settle an old issue.

- Pack for Vancouver! (which, by the way, is going to start out with a dinner with Amy, Corinna, Adam and Jennie! (and Kim???); really I am extremely excited to be going back and to be seeing all the above people and everyone else!! All of the pieces that I've been hoping for appear to be falling into place! 5 more days until we fly!)

So I promised a more meaningful blog post and this certainly isn't it... so in the meantime, enjoy some photos of what will be my old office by the end of the day today.

2 piles of files and notepads all nicely organized ready to be moved heh.

This was the wall with our world map (cause we're cool like that) and BMW calendar (cause my office-mate's wife works at BMW and we like looking at pictures of BMWs wishing we could own them, apparently). This is the only wall with any colour. We always intended to put up more art-related (or at least colourful) stuff but we never did. Oh well, maybe in the next office. lol

This is my wall. Anything artistic that was ever drawn on a sticky-note was posted here. Also hung (via. stickies) are pages of information or procedures that it was important I never lose heh.



I'm so artistic (the top two images of stickies are mine). LOL The bottom group of six are courtesy of my friend Damien. He's the real artist in the crew. You may recognize some of the characters from some pretty obscure Nintendo video game franchises. The one in the left-middle spot is called Goat Lement; he's an original creation and my personal favourite!

Update (new desk before/after):

Wires, everywhere.

What do you meeaan I haven't blogged in a while?

ACK! I haven't blogged in 10 days...

I will post something soon, I swear it!

Oh and by the way, Happy Valentine's day everyone :)

Dear uncle,

My aunt and uncle will return from their trip Tuesday night. This is more or less what I think needs to be said to my uncle (not so much in letter-form, of course):

"Dear Uncle,

You are the luckiest man I’ve ever known. You survived a vicious cancer, yet for someone who should by all accounts probably be dead, you sure as hell don’t act appreciative.

Your wife needs to leave you. But she apparently loves you too much to leave you on your own and has therefore relegated herself to your continuous anger and psychological abuse.

Your sons are good kids. You have no idea just how good they are. They’re responsible, they’re smart, and they’re ambitious. Personally, I find it amazing that they’re managing to turn out as good as they are given the shit they’ve had to go through.

You are angry all of the time, and you demand perfection out of your kids.

The truth is, despite the way it may seem, things are not so nice and perfect. In fact if you look closely, I think this is largely a “calm before the storm.”

I stayed with your kids for a week and a half and even I can see the problems developing. Your elder son is developing some pretty serious anger issues himself, and he knows it (at least partly) and he doesn’t understand why or know how to deal with it. He gets fits of anger for no apparent reason. He mimics (uncontrollably) you in your attacking of himself and his brother, because he as well now demands perfection and cannot seem to stand any kind of even minor mistakes in anything.

He feels isolated. He’s 16 years old and feels he does not/cannot have a relationship with his father. He told me he finds he can’t even say ‘hi’ to you as he passes you in the house. And to make matters worse, I’m sure he has practically no one to turn to for help/as an outlet. At that age, these are not the kinds of things you can discuss with your friends, and our family has never been very close so he’s never had any of us to lean on. Your wife is in a very similar position to him, but you cannot expect him to come to his mother for help. So where does that leave him? He’s basically had to cope with all these major life changes on his own without a father figure and without positive re-enforcement of the things he does well. You have no idea how lucky you are that he has so far managed to overcome, and that’s he’s had his eye on a goal ever since you got sick and apparently that has been enough to drive him forward and keep him being responsible.

Your younger son however is unfortunately in a much more…volatile position. The anger and aggression the older one gets from you, the younger one does as well. But not only does he get it from you, but because of the lack of fatherhood you’re providing, he’s forced to look to his brother as somewhat of a replacement father figure. This is bad, because the older one mimics you and so it simply re-enforces the anger and perfectionism as the norm. You can see that unlike the older one, he’s begun to internalize and suppress his aggression (most likely because he’s resentful of both you and his brother and doesn’t want to “be like you”). He’s already begun developing problems socializing. Either his personality type is conflicting with his peers, or he simply does not want to integrate with them and be social (at this point I couldn’t tell you which). Within the next several months to a couple years as he grows into himself and becomes more independent and rebellious, he’s going to strike out and be forced to find other ways to deal with the anger and contention he’s so far managed to bury. Unlike the older one, he does not have a goal in mind for his future that he can focus on and strive for. Thus, I can almost guarantee you that as soon as he discovers drugs and alcohol, and the dangerous release and comfort they provide all too often for kids like him, he’s going to develop some very serious problems. He will also have tendencies towards violence. His hockey playing has probably been a decent outlet for him thus far, but the constant competitiveness and frustration that he feels out of it, coupled by the yelling and screaming he gets from you because of your perfectionist demands, and the isolation he feels from the rest of his team, is simply going to build and build until it’s out of his control. He isn’t going to think of it as a problem though, that is the kicker, because for as long as he can remember, anger and frustration will have essentially been just the way life is.

Your kids are at a critical point here and you yourself need to think of yourself at a cross-roads. You make it seem like you’re so unhappy and that you don’t appreciate your life having been saved. You need to understand the kind of effect that has on your kids. You need to understand that filling your house with anger all the time causes it to get into your kids’ heads, subconsciously and uncontrollably, and that it’s going to lead to them have major, major problems as time goes on. You need to decide that you still love your sons and your wife and stop killing them with your bitterness; because you are almost killing them. They do not deserve to have your frustrations taken out on them. And you no longer have the right to be frustrated.

You’ve been through some fucked up shit. We get it. It wasn’t fair and you’re bitter and angry about it. You’ve been allowed to wallow in your depression and aggression for too long now because everyone has felt terrible about it, and no one wanted to push you. For the same reason, everyone has practically ignored the development of your gambling problem as well, which for the time being still isn’t the biggest concern any of us have. The point is, you now need to recognize that your self-destructive behaviours are being picked up on by your kids and that it’s causing them real damage that will soon become irreparable.

I implore you, as a family member, before it goes too far, that you tell your wife and your kids that you love them still and that you’re sorry. And for the love of life itself, for them and for yourself, start working on changing and fixing the mistakes."

Good kids

My cousin wanted to have a bunch of friends over tonight for an "Xbox party," so being the cool cousin I am I gave it a good "meh."

Most of them are currently in the one room playing Rock Band. The other ones are upstairs in the other room playing Guitar Hero III.

I even bought them beer and they aren't drinking it.

What the hell?

A numbers game

There was a time, when hearing the kind of bullshit being spewed from a BMW with five punk asses in it that I heard while driving my cousin through McDonalds after his hockey game tonight, would've resulted in a phone call and a brawl outside said McDonalds and me being in possession of a brand new beemer.

Lucky for all of us, those days are long gone.

And 5 on 1 would've just been too ridiculous a scene.

Fucking punks.