Lost.

Last night's episode was so ridiculous. My boss and I just spent the last hour discussing it over lunch. That has never happened before. Ever. (rarely do I watch TV, much less discuss it for more than 5 minutes)

Honestly, Heroes (the only other exception to the above rule) needs to come back with a huge bang, cause Lost has officially reclaimed it's spot as the best television show (possibly ever).

Proud moment

My cousin drove me in to work this morning (I am staying with them again for a few days) and with about 3 minutes or so left in the drive, 21st century living came on. It makes me proud that he likes Matthew Good, but more-so it makes me proud that when it came it this song, he actually listened to it and paid attention. "If you super-size ambition, does that make you ambitious?" ... he's going to be thinking about that one all day today.

I think about that one almost every day!

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The past several days have seen a lot of very powerful posts around the sphere. I haven't commented on any of them but I have been thinking a lot about all of them. Words, for the simple fact that they are only coloured and ordered lines and shapes, can do/invoke some pretty amazing stuff.

None of this is real.

I get people staring at me as if I have something giant and multi-coloured trying to climb out of my neck or something.

Really they’re just jealous. Or curious. Or afraid at looking at anything else but me, maybe.

I don’t mind.

I don’t mind because I like to be looked at. I like that they don’t ever say anything to me because then I get to imagine what it is they might be thinking. And I always imagine that they must want to fuck me. Or they must want to be me. Or anything else really that could be a boon to my ever-increasing ego.

Because I like having an ego.

Because I like having self-confidence.

Because I hate people who don’t have any; what are they afraid of? What are they comparing themselves to? And why?

In our lives there is way too much comparison. Are you pretty enough? Are you successful enough? Do you prefer Fruit Loops or Apple Jacks? Did you know that they just introduced a new blue fruit loop? Do you think that makes them better?

Seriously. A hundred different shapes and colours of the same breakfast cereal is packaged in different, colourful ways that are all SCREAMING at me when I walk down that aisle.

And you know what? It was always my favourite aisle to walk down as a kid. And you know what? It still is. But you know what? I cry about it a little now. I never used to cry about it. I never used to cry about anything really. Now I cry about cereal. And how there’s just too many choices of it. And how they’re all the same… so really what choice is there? And yet they’re all packaged and marketed differently and they sometimes taste a little different and sometimes they have a little white sugar on top or are rotated 45 degrees and re-labeled or get a brilliant new colour thrown into the mix. So maybe they ARE all different. Or maybe the cereal aisle is a perfect example of just how fucked up so many things in our lives really are.

So I avoid going to the super-market these days. And I eat this cranberry and nut and flakes mix for breakfast on the rare occasions that I eat breakfast because I believe the cranberries are good for me and I think the nuts are good for me and I feel better about eating flakes than being a flake since I hang out with flakes and I know, I’m not fooling anybody. I am what I eat. A flake… and a nut… but good for your urinary track at least.

Terrible joke of the day

Do you know why a gun is better than a wife?


You can put a silencer on a gun.

Money woes...

Actually... not really.

I forgot to pay a visa. A visa that I thought I did pay. Which means I'm about $500 broker (more broke? closer to broke?) than I thought I was, and let me tell you, that is not a fun thought at all!

What also sucks about it, is that it was my mum's visa. So I messed with her credit rating a little bit. Sorry mum!

Being in debt consistently is annoying. I don't really mind owing a little bit of money here or there... I know what I'm getting myself into when I put money on the cards. The only thing that really bothers me about it is on those days where I'm really not happy to be at work, and it makes me feel all the more stuck in my job; call it a compounding effect. Further to that, it makes planning future events and trips and what I know are going to be expensive evenings/weekends that much more anxiety-ridden. And that, probably, is what really sucks about it the most.

Ohh man... I really should have saved more money over the last few years.

I still have to buy a new pair of running shoes. And a camera for my friend. And I need a haircut too. What am I gonna do? *this is where I roll my eyes*

A thought for this evening:

Our grandparents (or really, any senior citizen) contain within them a wealth of knowledge and history that none of us can truly appreciate.

I have begun encouraging my grandmother to write down everything about anything significant in her life that she can. I just can't help but feel like there might be something there that is worth knowing... and I'm beginning to feel like I have taken my grandparents - and older people in general - for granted; wasting an opportunity to have access to something unique that won't be around forever.

It's often best just to stay silent.

Political discussions make me angry when I get drawn into discussions about complex issues that I don't completely understand with people who don't completely understand it themselves (though they may think they do). It always starts off simple enough, and usually about things I feel I can speak to, then almost always degrades or gets off topic, turning into something that neither of us are knowledgable enough about. And always, always it ends with each of us trying to dictate to each other how things are or how they need to be or how they could be.

We're all so full of shit it's fucking ridiculous.